No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.