I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
operation have a gay friend backfired
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.