Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The Olympian is in my bed