Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.