Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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