"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.