I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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