Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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