New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
