god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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