nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
