and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
