Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
