At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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