Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
