I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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