Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize