you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
