After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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