We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
