So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
