So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
