But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
