She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
