I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
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What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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