I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
