Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
