remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
His nipple licking is glorious
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