I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
