it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
