Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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