A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
