North Korea, Best Korea!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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