Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
