# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize