my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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