Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
