I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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