Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I absolutely love you.

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  (360): We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it. (1-360): I absolutely love you. http://tfl.nu/vd5p
  Replies (40) Good night (10727) Bad night (825)
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  (619): View more from California

  Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.

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  (619): Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames. http://tfl.nu/itz7
  Replies (12) Good night (4538) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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  (516): I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume http://tfl.nu/0r2u
  Replies (47) Good night (2123) Bad night (4507)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  well apparently not.

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  (978): saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in? (1-978): well apparently not. http://tfl.nu/kqax
  Replies (50) Good night (1451) Bad night (5479)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.

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  (541): I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top. http://tfl.nu/w6ft
  Replies (7) Good night (2284) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend

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  (406): You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend http://tfl.nu/ek7z
  Replies (2) Good night (2604) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move

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  (732): 4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move http://tfl.nu/7ba1
  Replies (6) Good night (4012) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.

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  (330): okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important. http://tfl.nu/wfir
  Replies (6) Good night (1382) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.

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  (713): Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America. http://tfl.nu/d35e
  Replies (12) Good night (1787) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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  (310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1469) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.

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  (925): Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days. http://tfl.nu/goog
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Good point.

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  (334): That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating. (678): Good point. http://tfl.nu/bwir
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.

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  (778): Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed. http://tfl.nu/26ft
  Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now

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  (515): yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now http://tfl.nu/r5r9
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.

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  (206): Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/ydnj
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (198)

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