Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

you're out of your mind

(518): View more from New York

you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

(518): View more from New York

it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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(518): you're out of your mind (518): you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear (518): it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence http://tfl.nu/wmaw

Replies (11) Good night (782) Bad night (2185)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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(706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf

Replies (81) Good night (2758) Bad night (6150)
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(678): View more from Georgia

his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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(678): his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him. http://tfl.nu/quex

Replies (24) Good night (5944) Bad night (1203)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie

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(860): ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie http://tfl.nu/a0bb

Replies (5) Good night (3041) Bad night (814)
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(253): View more from Washington

No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

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(253): No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions http://tfl.nu/59zh

Replies (11) Good night (2322) Bad night (810)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this

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(416): Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this http://tfl.nu/tjbd

Replies (11) Good night (1956) Bad night (886)
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(573): View more from Missouri

What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

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(573): What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important. http://tfl.nu/vy7b

Replies (19) Good night (612) Bad night (4868)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.

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(313): Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie. http://tfl.nu/1dd0

Replies (7) Good night (2743) Bad night (575)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink

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(602): You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink http://tfl.nu/maij

Replies (7) Good night (1970) Bad night (587)
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(817): View more from Texas

Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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(817): Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one. http://tfl.nu/mit2

Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (966)
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(631): View more from New York

The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time

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(631): The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time http://tfl.nu/yanl

Replies (3) Good night (1447) Bad night (830)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

So all in all, a good night.

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(717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215

Replies (0) Good night (1366) Bad night (434)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?

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(508): OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities? http://tfl.nu/uepx

Replies (4) Good night (1052) Bad night (429)
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(206): View more from Washington

No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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(206): No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you. http://tfl.nu/9dg7

Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (232)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night

(773): View more from Illinois

Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh

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(773): Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night (773): Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh http://tfl.nu/i0ie

Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (387)

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