I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover