Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
