I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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