yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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