I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
