I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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