Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
