You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
