Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
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could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize