A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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