I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
