you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
