I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
