"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
where does the pee come out of this thing
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
