i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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