Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
