i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
