note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
