Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
