remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
