dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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