Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
