Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
