I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Congratulations! We have a period
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