He told me they were just razor bumps!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
