you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
