Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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