i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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